Est. May 2008

08 August, 2013


Paul Rampell, writing for WaPo, trots out the idea that rather than have life-long marriages, society should simply switch over to shorter-term ‘wedleases’ of 5, 10, or however-many-years-a-couple-agree-to.  He offers this as a remedy for the high divorce rate we have today.

Family Council columnist Jerry points out four problems which this idea doesn’t really address; he then offers the following as a parting shot (emphasis mine):
Why doesn’t society make the legal structure of marriage more congruent to our behavior? Answer: Because laws exist to set a standard, not just reflect one. If criminals repeatedly break the law, we should not change the law to facility their illegal behavior. Marriage laws are no different: Just because a standard is challenging doesn’t mean we need to lower that standard. It means we need to help people meet it. When the government begins redefining marriage, it undermines that standard and threatens the institution of marriage.
Like so many ‘solutions’, Mr. Rampell’s doesn’t address the core of the problem, which I see as our current ‘replacement’ society.

The ‘replacement society’ I’m talking about is easy to see: how many times have you taken something to be repaired, only to hear, ‘You know, it’d be cheaper just to buy new’?  How about trying to find repair parts for something and hearing, ‘They don’t make those anymore’?  Electronics (phones, computers, etc.) are particularly susceptible to this ‘obsolescence’, but it happens with quite a few other things as well.

Granted, in some cases things end up broken beyond repair; the problem today is that we don’t even attempt to repair small breakages, since it’s much easier (and cheaper, in a lot of cases) to ‘buy new’.  This has led to the mindset that it’s not worth it to even attempt to maintain our purchases, since if they break, oh well, I’ll just go out and get a new one.

This mindset bled over into the arena of marriage as well.  ‘No-fault divorce’ eliminated the necessity for reasons for ending a marriage (physical and/or mental abuse, abandonment, adultery, and so forth) – all that was necessary was ‘irreconcilable differences’, which has become a fairly meaningless term, since those ‘differences’ could be as simple as the position of the toilet seat or the fact that he forgot her favorite flower color or she forgot his favorite type of meal (don’t laugh, these kinds of things have spawned divorces).

With no ‘necessary reason’ for a divorce, there was no longer any ‘necessary reason’ to try to repair the cracks and breakages which occur in all marriages, either.  Since you didn’t have to convince the judge that your spouse was beating the tar out of you (physically or mentally), had run off with someone else, or had gone out for milk and just never came back, divorce became emotionally ‘easier’ than reconciliation (not that it became financially ‘easier’, though we’ve all heard the joke about the reason for divorce being so expensive is that it’s worth every penny). 

And so what if you got divorced?  It’s not as if being divorced is frowned upon anymore.  After all, ‘there are other fish in the sea’, aren’t there?  If you don’t like the situation, or if it’s broken, well, just dump it and replace your spouse with something newer.  I mean, even the church doesn’t frown on divorce anymore (let alone frowning on divorce-and-remarriage (or as I’ve heard it called, ‘serial adultery’)).

No, you see, our modern ‘replacement’ society doesn’t believe in the longevity of anything anymore – not cars, not toasters, not computers, not phones…and certainly not marriage.  And our Palm-Beach-based-estate-planning lawyer’s ‘solution’ to the problem isn’t a solution at all – it’s simply whitewashing over the rot itself.

And we’re already pretty good at slinging whitewash, aren’t we?

(hat tip Christian Post)


Proof said...

Isn't that just codifying serial polygamy? Lease is up on the old one. Got one in red??

Right Truth said...

Only one problem with this idea, it isn't Biblical. But you make a good point, we have a throw-away society now. This isn't really new, it is just getting worse it seems.

Staying together isn't always easy. But the love you share is the bond that makes you both better.

Hubby and I will be married 42 years next month. Was every day easy? No.

Living is full of stress, problems, etc. -- but we always loved each other, still do. More every day in fact.

People who know us acknowledge and appreciate how much we love each other and we are an example to others I hope.

Right Truth

Nate said...

Since the author of this alleged 'solution' is a 'Palm-Beach-based-estate-planning lawyer', I figured I'd try a non-biblical argument against.